I think i peed on brittanys purse
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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