fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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