Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hippo gnu deer
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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