your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i would punch a child for taco bell
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
