Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
