How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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