i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize