It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't put those talents on a resume
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
