You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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