Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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