you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
