guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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