Whod you bang
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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