Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sponge bath it is.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
