we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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