he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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