I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
