You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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