I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
