so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
