Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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