She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
