new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
