38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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