this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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