i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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