okay pat passed out under dana's car
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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