Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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