Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
