Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Me too!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A+ Viking dick
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
