But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
