2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
