I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
