I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
