she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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