He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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