He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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