Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Pants are for mortals
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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