just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
