I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
