I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
