I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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