Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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