If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
