Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
