Who wears a wallet chain?!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
