yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish you could order shots online.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
