Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
