AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
