I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
